HASH #1299 "MYSTERY ISLAND SHIGGY SPECIAL"

Date: Sunday, October 19 2008

Hare: DISCO ASS

Location: HOWELL ISLAND NATURE RESERVE 

In a nod to the Free China H3 of Hong Kong, I decided it was time to set a true mystery island hash. Not a mystery island in the South China Sea, but a mystery island in the Missouri River.

And so the pack gathered in the lot at Howell Island Nature Reserve. We were joined presently by quite a few hunters of wild beasts, who were also to brave the elements and the fist sized aggressive mosquitoes that inhabit the place. Peepole showed up, along with Shiggy (dressed appropriately in his ‘ya ever been in the shit?’ military garb), a fresh from a Rams win Floppy, Lucy, Help Me (whose hand resembled the Stay Puff marshmallow man due to a fall, ouch!), I Feel, Running Nose, Just Josh, Numbuns, Just Joe and Just Megan. Also joining us were several barking canines sure to scare away any aforementioned wild beasts.

Chalk talk consisted of only one dot from yours truly. This trail was to have no checks, no beer stops and only one turkey eagle split. This is hashing as it once was, before the complications of boob checks, blow jobs, two dotters and the like.

The pack was off after the hare, over the causeway and out onto the island. I can only type from word of mouth how the pack found (or lost) the trail, as I had decided to go ahead and live hare the turkey portion. The split was about a mile straight in. The FRBs searched furiously for where the eagle trail picked up from the split, as the pasture had all but consumed my flour dots. Call me green, but chose not to litter this pristine wood with toilet paper. A few hardy souls eventually found eagle, while the rest enjoyed the shorter turkey loop. Whether any turkeys were actually encountered, I know not. (I was briefly trailed by a delectable looking bird as I prelaid a portion of trail).

The trash would not be complete without a mention of the great mosquito invasion. Having been eaten alive with what compared to the worst SE Asia has to offer while scouting, I mandated to the pack that they bathe themselves in repellant. Apparently that was not quite enough as reports of blood sucking abounded. Regrettably, there was no Butt Sucking this fine day.

After I managed to make my way back to the start, I see supreme late comer Jailbait running towards me. I steered him out to the island and suggested he do the turkey trail for time sake, but was overruled by the overachiever. While waiting for the pack to return, a local hunter/plumber, Joe I think was his name, regaled us with tales of great fishes, triceratops sized deer and Howell Island aviation disasters. He also pointed out on his handy GPS unit where he had marked the location of a suspicious looking gentleman wearing bright clothing and dropping a white substance which turned out not to be deer bait.

The pack returned bitten up but mostly in tact. Shiggy had to depart early as he needed to make the 57 mile return trip home before the last ferry back across the river. We had time to question potential namees Just Joe and Just Megan as Running Nose and Just Josh remained at large. Finally we began circle.

Peepole rewarded the hare with a healthy down down. Another Rams fan/latecomer Duzzy Cum showed up valiantly sporting a gaping hole in his trousers and was rewarded with hash shit, narrowly nudging out Jailbait. Numbuns displayed a fancy shirt to be peddled at next weekend’s festivities and I Feel and I drank 3/8ths of a beer to commemorate us attending the first 3 hashes in a series of 8 taking place over 9 days. Get a life, indeed.

We proceeded to Wente’s O&R to enjoy libations and the company of yet another late comer Ho Hum and Just Buddy. We also took the opportunity to discuss possible names for Just Megan. Tossed about were Edward Bones, Green Monster, Boston Cummin’ (I just made that one up, actually). We finally settled gloriously on…. Boston Weed Party. Congrats and welcome! We tabled the naming for Just Joe until he can awe us with his stories of lewd and lascivious conduct as him and BWP will be making a trip south of the border next week. So much for Mutual Buns or Paul in the Rear (awesome, by the way).

We are all set for the big 25 years of hashing weekend. See all the details on this site, register yourself if you haven’t, and come on out.

Yours in the Rear,

Disco Ass